Anita Williams, 43, from Winchcombe, Gloucestershire, lost her husband Ben to small cell lung cancer (SCLC) just six months after his diagnosis. Despite initially being told he was “too young for cancer” at 37, Ben’s condition was found to be terminal when finally diagnosed in January 2021.
Ben had experienced months of severe pain above his hip before seeking medical advice. After several inconclusive tests and referrals, a CT scan revealed advanced cancer in his lung and liver. By the time of diagnosis, the cancer had reached stage four, with doctors estimating a prognosis of 12 to 18 months.
Ben commenced chemotherapy and immunotherapy treatments, but his health declined rapidly. The couple planned to renew their wedding vows in August 2021; however, Ben was admitted to Sue Ryder Leckhampton Court Hospice in July after his symptoms worsened. He died aged 38, surrounded by family.
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In the aftermath of her husband’s passing, Anita reflected on the few mementoes they had and has since begun creating memory boxes to help other families facing terminal illness preserve precious keepsakes. Named “A Box from Ben”, the initiative encourages collecting photographs, letters, drawings, recordings, and meaningful objects to support grieving loved ones.
Anita shares that grief is a continuous and challenging journey. “Even years later, it’s not something you simply get over,” she explains. Balancing raising three children alone and coping with the loss, she encourages openness about grief and death to foster understanding and support.
She advises people experiencing unusual symptoms to persist in seeking medical advice, emphasising self-advocacy. “If you feel something’s not right, please push to get yourself checked,” she says.
For those supporting bereaved individuals, Anita stresses the importance of kindness and patience. “Creating a new normal without that person is a daily struggle. Just be supportive.”
Paul Madden, head of grief and bereavement quality and governance at Sue Ryder, notes that grief affects everyone differently, with no set timeline or right way to grieve.
Anita found comfort through a support group for young widows and continues to cope with post-traumatic stress disorder following Ben’s death. She describes grief as a heavy burden but one she faces with growing strength.
For those seeking guidance, Sue Ryder provides grief and bereavement support at sueryder.org/grief-support.