A Gloucestershire woman has spoken out about her husband’s rapid battle with lung cancer, emphasising the need for kindness and openness about grief. Anita Williams, 43, of Winchcombe, lost her husband Ben in July 2021 just six months after his diagnosis with small cell lung cancer (SCLC).
Ben, 37 at the time of diagnosis, had endured months of persistent pain above his hip before being diagnosed. Despite initial reassurances from doctors that his age made cancer unlikely, by the time tests confirmed the illness in January 2021, the cancer was already at stage four, considered terminal. Ben was given a prognosis of 12 to 18 months.
Following the diagnosis, Ben underwent chemotherapy and immunotherapy. However, his condition worsened rapidly. In the weeks before his death, after planning to renew their wedding vows, Ben was admitted to Sue Ryder Leckhampton Court Hospice, where he was later diagnosed with leptomeningeal cancer that affected his brain and spinal cord, leading to his passing at age 38.
Anita, a police officer, described her husband as a devoted father and passionate Manchester United fan, who was always active in sports such as cricket and football. She recalled how Ben had been healthy with no previous medical issues before the onset of pain in mid-2020. Initial medical tests failed to identify the cause, with health professionals suggesting he was “too young for cancer.” It was only a CT scan and subsequent biopsy that revealed the severity of his condition.
The emotional toll on Anita and their three children has been immense. “Grief is an ongoing struggle,” she said, highlighting the challenges of navigating life milestones alone, including children starting university and school.
To support others facing similar circumstances, Anita has created ‘A Box from Ben’-a memory box designed to help families preserve keepsakes and memories during terminal illness. She has donated these boxes to local hospices and emphasises the importance of capturing moments, handprints, photographs, and personal mementos that families might otherwise overlook during difficult times.
Anita also shared her experience with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) following Ben’s death and described grief as a physical and emotional burden that lessens but never fully disappears over time.
She encourages those experiencing unexplained or persistent symptoms to seek medical advice promptly and to advocate for their health. Her message to those supporting the bereaved is to offer kindness and patience, recognising that the pain of loss is a long and personal journey.
Paul Madden, head of grief and bereavement at Sue Ryder, emphasised that grief manifests differently for everyone, with no prescribed timeline or correct way to cope.
For individuals seeking support with grief, resources are available through the Sue Ryder charity at sueryder.org/grief-support.